| Bastardy 
         Tune: John Lennon's and Paul McCartney's "Yesterday"
 Bastardy:
 For a barrister, it's S.O.P.
 When you see a groin, apply the knee,
 And tell yourself, "It's him or me."
 
 Merciless
 As an agent of the I.R.S.—
 Slap the widow with a dispossess,
 And win your way to sweet success.
 
 Why
 Be
 Bleeding-heart?
 For a start,
 It doesn't pay.
 
 Christ
 Said,
 "Turn the cheek,"
 But the meek
 Are so passé.
 
 Possibly,
 Love's the bottom line in Galilee.
 You'll excuse me if I disagree;
 The Golden Rule is—bastardy.
 Mm, mm, mm, mm—that's the key.
 
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